Monday, June 23, 2008

Feeling a little (ok, a lot!) overwhelmed!

I'm not a person who does well with overwhelmedness. It makes me feel very panicky and nervous.

DH and I have not treated with an RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist-basically a fertility specialist). Because we're pretty conservative on what we will and won't consider in terms of artificial reproduction assistance, we never saw the need to see an RE because my OB could do everything we were willing to try. Then when his tests revealed DH's problem, we went to a specialist (the best in the state) for that. But his next steps would have been to send us to an RE too, to do procedures we weren't comfortable with, we basically drew our line in the sand there.

Most people when doing something like a Frozen Embryo Transfer do it with an RE with whom they have an established relationship, so they just call him up and he schedules all the tests and procedures.

We don't have one so we needed to find an RE specifically for the actual transfer, because an OB doesn't do that. But I've only met this doctor once. So I called his office today to see what the next step is. They schedule far out so I figured I could get on the calender. The next step is do a ton of blood work, tests and screenings on both DH and I. He CAN do them or we can have our Primary Care Physician do them. We chose this route because coming from a PCP, they should be covered by our insurance. They're the same tests and should be covered no matter who orders them but we're afraid insurance might freak out if they see a clinic's name on the orders so we're going through our PCP.

So, she proceeds to recite to me all of the tests I need to ask the doctor to order. There are 21 of them for me and an additional 6 for DH.

We'll do 2 of them with my OB because of the nature of the sample's retrieval. So first I had to call and explain to my OB's scheduler, whom I have never met (she's new) and who has no clue about Embryo Adoption or even FET about why I needed to come in for STD screening (joy!).

Then I needed to call our PCP and explain to HIS scheduler why we needed to see him. "Why do you need to see him?" "So that we can ask him to order labs." "How do you know you need them?" "Because another doctor said so." "Why didn't he order them then?" aye yai yai. I think in the end it boiled down to "ok, whatever you say lady-see you next week." So we meet with him to ask him if he can put in orders at the lab to do these 25 other tests. Joy!

I'm just a little overwhelmed. I'm stressed that I'm going to do something in the wrong order or that someone will miss one and we'll have to go back anyway, opening us up for financial risk and extra cost, etc, etc. I'd love it if we lived in California where we could do everything non-medical through Nightlight, and if we had an existing RE and IF insurance coverage where we could do everything else through them. This coordinating everything through so many different agencies is making my head spin.

I'm totally willing to do it. I'm just afraid I'll make a major mistake! I guess it's a feeling I should get used to as we embark on parenting anyway, right? ;)